Both a Title and a Conviction

Look at me posting two days in a row! Woo hoo! Today I thought I'd put down all my thoughts on how I came up with the name of my blog - "Stay at Home Sheila."  The most obvious reason I chose this name is because that's who I am!  My name is Sheila and I'm a stay-at-home mom.  Now this is where everyone says, "Hi, Sheila" in their best AA member voice. 

There is another side to the story of how I titled my blog though.  It can also be read as a command - "Stay at home, Sheila."  I believe that God has called and convicted me to stay at home as a wife and mother without pursuing a professional career.  I actually feel that God has been calling me to this role since I was a little girl, dreaming about my wedding and the tussle of children I would one day have.  At one point during my childhood I had my heart set on getting married shortly after I turned 18, having 10 kids, and living in an old RV that was parked in my grandmother's backyard at the time.  As I got older and entered my teen years, the age at which I wanted to get married and the number of children I intended on having changed (and of course I no longer dream of living in an RV!).  I figured I would at least start college and get a good way through it before becoming my soulmate's wife and then we would wait until we were finished up completely with school before expanding our family.

I met Jace during my first semester of college and we were engaged within a year.  We got married less than two years after meeting each other and planned to wait on having kids until we were out of school and had somewhat of a game plan for Jace's career and our future.  Well turns out God had a different time frame for "our plans."  Jace and I had been married about six months when we found out I was pregnant.  I remember sitting on our bed in complete shock, frozen with panic.  I realized that I only wanted God to give me the desires of my heart as long as I dictated when and where.  In an attempt to retain control over the situation I quickly decided that I would still finish up my college degree even though that meant student teaching and finding alternative care for my child.  I decided that I could "do it all!"

However, God began to work in my heart and convict me of my strong-willed determination to finish college even at the expense of His blessing of a child.  I prayed and prayed about what to do.  I knew I would regret missing moments of my baby's first year of life but I also clung to my reputation as an honor student whose goal was to graduate college with an intact 4.0 GPA.  God finally spoke to me clearly through Jace and undeniably told me, "Stay at home, Sheila."  My academic aspirations and reputation have been some of the most difficult idols to cut down.  I still find myself envious of my friends who are achieving in college and I often wonder if people who knew me as a straight A student shake their heads and think, "What a shame."  However, these thoughts are quickly quelled when I look at my precious son and realize that I'll get to experience every single "first" of his life.

God is good and His timing is always perfect.

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose." -Romans 8:28